Author: Shenzhan/申展
Title photo: A Street Food Cart and Reflection of a Coffee Shop
Photo by Shenzhan/申展 at 31st Street and 31st Avenue in Astoria, New York, on January 19, 2025

Hunter’s Point, Long Island City, New York, January 18, 2025

Photo by Shenzhan/申展

TikTok turned dark and flicked back on today. Trump will take his oath as the 47th President of the United States for the second time tomorrow. RedNote has been flooded with TikTok refugees. I got my new haircut to get ready for the Lunar New Year. New York is turning bitterly cold, with slush in the air and on the street…....as always, another eventful week and eventful day.

Inspired by 范泰西, a young handsome black guy on RedNote singing 为你我受冷风吹 by Sandy Lam (林忆莲） , not only in perfect Chinese but also musically stunning, I spent the entire weekend listening to old Chinese songs that were popular when I was in college, and that I would join a group of friends to book a private Karaoke room at midnight for the lowest price and sing through the early hours of the day. 

林忆莲 happened to be one of my favorites. 当爱已成往事, a dual she did with 李宗盛, who later married her and then divorced her, was always on my Karaoke list. I sang the song often with my then-boyfriend for fun. The lyric goes like this:

有一天你会知道 One day you will know

人生没有我并不会不同 Life won’t be different without me

We were just kids. We almost didn’t know anything, including whether life would be different or not without each other. But we sang the song together anyway, looking at each other as if the moment together would last forever. We broke up two years later. I don’t know what life would have been like had we been together, but the two years spent together have become part of me, in the corner of my memory, waiting to be wakened up one day like today by a black singer named 范泰西.

I also added 如愿 by Wang Faye 王菲 to my “Old Chinese Songs” list. A song for mothers：

而我将梦你所梦的团圆 And I will dream of being together as you dreamed

愿你所愿的永远 Wish forever as you wished

走你所走的长路 Walk the long journey as you walked

这样的爱你啊 So I love you

我也将见你未见的世界 I also will see the world you have never seen

写你未写的诗篇 write the poems you have never written

天边的月 心中的念 As the moon far in the sky, the will in the heart

你永在我身边 You are by my side, forever

Mom passed away in July 2021. I miss her every day. This part of the song brings me tears every time I listen to it. I know Mom is in me. Every time I travel to a place, have a fabulous event or create something that I am proud of, I know I am doing it with her. From the moment I was born, she was in me. And I am a continuation of her. 

One song that may make this list slighly brighter is 因为爱情（Because of Love), by 王菲 and 陈奕迅：

因为爱情 不会轻易悲伤

所以一切都是幸福的模样

因为爱情 简单的生长

依然随时可以为你疯狂

因为爱情 怎么会有沧桑

所以我们还是年轻的模样

Marco will be back from Milan in 2 days. We have been dating for more than three years, but the joy of being together is still surprisingly natural and obvious. We spoke on WhatsApp every day, and would never feel awkward even in silence. I keep thinking we were like teenagers in love, not in the sense of immaturity, but in the sense of simpleness: we are simply seeking companionship from each other. Financial security, social or legal status, raising children together, or even cultural differences……all are not of our concern at this stage of our lives. Even growing old together is not that daunting since we are no longer young. In this city of the Big Apple, where we have already made it home respectively, we now are making it our home together. 

Astoria, New York